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Devine S
*A Sparkly Jacket and Fishnets Does Not a Show Make*
Captain Proud Paddle Boat Cruises的点评
点评：The evening began with promise: a pleasant spring night, a menu that sounded delicious, and the allure of *Burlesque*. What could possibly go wrong?
Enter *Dylan* — a man in a glittering purple jacket armed with a guitar, a mobile phone, and unwavering confidence in his karaoke skills. Sadly, his phone knew the lyrics better than he did. Between glancing at the screen and lagging a beat behind every song, he managed to murder a perfectly innocent playlist. One might have expected sultry jazz or smoky swing to match the theme. Instead, we got off-brand pub rock, badly.
The Burlesque performers themselves were charming and gave it their all, particularly in the first couple of sets. But by the third, “Down by the River” had us checking our watches — not for the next act, but for the exit. We didn’t make it to the fourth set. Hunger won out over hope.
The food, which had sounded so promising on paper, quickly fell from grace. The entrée — brie and pastry — was fine. The main, however, was a soggy green mess masquerading as a vegetarian option. A few whole carrots, some limp spinach, a token cube of tofu and — naturally — a handful of chickpeas, because of course that’s what all vegetarians live on. Dessert? We didn’t stay to find out.
Service was glacial — over an hour between courses. The waitress seemed as lost as Dylan’s rhythm, and at one point, staff sat at our table to enjoy their own meals before ours arrived. Presumably, their $129 tickets were complimentary.
This could have been a great night: the concept was there, the energy was there, but the execution was nowhere to be found. Lose Dylan, bring in some sultry background music, serve food that’s edible and timely, and maybe — just maybe — lower the cocktail prices. Because $22 for a drink while listening to off-key rock at a Burlesque show? That’s not entertainment. That’s extortion.
Try again, don't abandon ship (ike we did), execute it better!
Enter *Dylan* — a man in a glittering purple jacket armed with a guitar, a mobile phone, and unwavering confidence in his karaoke skills. Sadly, his phone knew the lyrics better than he did. Between glancing at the screen and lagging a beat behind every song, he managed to murder a perfectly innocent playlist. One might have expected sultry jazz or smoky swing to match the theme. Instead, we got off-brand pub rock, badly.
The Burlesque performers themselves were charming and gave it their all, particularly in the first couple of sets. But by the third, “Down by the River” had us checking our watches — not for the next act, but for the exit. We didn’t make it to the fourth set. Hunger won out over hope.
The food, which had sounded so promising on paper, quickly fell from grace. The entrée — brie and pastry — was fine. The main, however, was a soggy green mess masquerading as a vegetarian option. A few whole carrots, some limp spinach, a token cube of tofu and — naturally — a handful of chickpeas, because of course that’s what all vegetarians live on. Dessert? We didn’t stay to find out.
Service was glacial — over an hour between courses. The waitress seemed as lost as Dylan’s rhythm, and at one point, staff sat at our table to enjoy their own meals before ours arrived. Presumably, their $129 tickets were complimentary.
This could have been a great night: the concept was there, the energy was there, but the execution was nowhere to be found. Lose Dylan, bring in some sultry background music, serve food that’s edible and timely, and maybe — just maybe — lower the cocktail prices. Because $22 for a drink while listening to off-key rock at a Burlesque show? That’s not entertainment. That’s extortion.
Try again, don't abandon ship (ike we did), execute it better!
翻译：夜晚的开始充满希望：一个宜人的春夜，一份听起来很美味的菜单，以及*滑稽戏*的魅力。还有什么能出错呢？
*迪伦*登场——他身穿一件闪闪发光的紫色夹克，手里拿着吉他和手机，对自己的卡拉OK技巧充满信心。可惜的是，他的手机比他更懂歌词。他一边盯着屏幕，一边每首歌都慢一拍，却成功地毁掉了一个原本无伤大雅的播放列表。人们或许会期待着热情奔放的爵士乐或烟熏摇摆乐来配合主题。结果，我们听到的却是蹩脚的酒吧摇滚，糟糕透了。
滑稽戏的表演者们本身魅力十足，全力以赴，尤其是在前几场。但到了第三场，《河畔》让我们开始盯着手表——不是在等下一幕，而是在等退场。我们没能坚持到第四场。饥饿战胜了希望。
菜品纸面上看起来还不错，但很快就跌到了谷底。主菜——布里奶酪和酥皮点心——还不错。然而，主菜却是一盘湿漉漉的绿色糊状物，伪装成素食。几根完整的胡萝卜，一些软塌塌的菠菜，一块豆腐，当然还有一把鹰嘴豆，因为当然，鹰嘴豆是所有素食者赖以生存的食物。甜点？我们没留下来一探究竟。
服务极其冷淡——两道菜之间间隔一个多小时。服务员似乎和迪伦的节奏一样迷失了方向，有一次，我们的菜还没上来，服务员就坐在我们桌边享用自己的餐点了。想必他们129美元的餐券是免费的。
这本来可以是一个很棒的夜晚：理念在，活力在，但执行力却无处可寻。别再提迪伦了，来点撩人的背景音乐，提供可口且合时宜的食物，或许——只是或许——鸡尾酒价格可以再低一些。就因为在滑稽表演上听着走调的摇滚乐，喝一杯就要22美元？这根本就不是娱乐，而是敲诈。
再试一次，别像我们一样弃船而逃，要做得更好！
*迪伦*登场——他身穿一件闪闪发光的紫色夹克，手里拿着吉他和手机，对自己的卡拉OK技巧充满信心。可惜的是，他的手机比他更懂歌词。他一边盯着屏幕，一边每首歌都慢一拍，却成功地毁掉了一个原本无伤大雅的播放列表。人们或许会期待着热情奔放的爵士乐或烟熏摇摆乐来配合主题。结果，我们听到的却是蹩脚的酒吧摇滚，糟糕透了。
滑稽戏的表演者们本身魅力十足，全力以赴，尤其是在前几场。但到了第三场，《河畔》让我们开始盯着手表——不是在等下一幕，而是在等退场。我们没能坚持到第四场。饥饿战胜了希望。
菜品纸面上看起来还不错，但很快就跌到了谷底。主菜——布里奶酪和酥皮点心——还不错。然而，主菜却是一盘湿漉漉的绿色糊状物，伪装成素食。几根完整的胡萝卜，一些软塌塌的菠菜，一块豆腐，当然还有一把鹰嘴豆，因为当然，鹰嘴豆是所有素食者赖以生存的食物。甜点？我们没留下来一探究竟。
服务极其冷淡——两道菜之间间隔一个多小时。服务员似乎和迪伦的节奏一样迷失了方向，有一次，我们的菜还没上来，服务员就坐在我们桌边享用自己的餐点了。想必他们129美元的餐券是免费的。
这本来可以是一个很棒的夜晚：理念在，活力在，但执行力却无处可寻。别再提迪伦了，来点撩人的背景音乐，提供可口且合时宜的食物，或许——只是或许——鸡尾酒价格可以再低一些。就因为在滑稽表演上听着走调的摇滚乐，喝一杯就要22美元？这根本就不是娱乐，而是敲诈。
再试一次，别像我们一样弃船而逃，要做得更好！
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